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by Mary Rocamora,
M.A.
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Even if you have doubts about the extent of your
giftedness, you will really bring your talents to life if you
will embrace your drive to become, serve, create, achieve, and
contribute. The purpose of self-recognition is not to fuel egotism
or elitism, but to align with a more powerful, creative part
of you that will let your heart, your knowledge, your talent
loose on the world.
If you feel that you're on a path or that you have
a mission in life, an explosion of energy becomes available to
you. That energy overcomes fear, uncertainty, getting stuck periodically,
and going through periods of exhaustion.
"There are at least two competing definitions
for 'talented adults.' One of these is simply an extension of
the most common definition of gifted children, that is, high
IQ...Another definition holds that talented adults are those
who have the capacity for superlative performance in one or more
areas of socially valued endeavor...The most distinctive feature
of talented adults is that the development, refinement, and perfecting
of their extraordinary talent is the central task of their career
development." (Kerr, B. and Claiborn, C., Counseling Talented
Adults. Advanced Development, Vol. 3, Jan., 1991).
We all suffer impairment as a result of our psychological
wounds, but for a gifted person, the results of a traumatic childhood
can be devastating. But when a gifted person's inner drive toward
self-actualization is blocked - by low self esteem, unresolved
dependency needs, shame, depression, internalization of abuse,
or fear - the very sense of aliveness is thwarted. The best psychological
recovery and growth for gifted individuals is that which is provided
by exceptionally talented facilitators and by those who understand
what it is to be gifted.
"Derived from the Greek word for having a
goal, entelechy is a particular type of motivation, need for
self-determination, and an inner strength and vital force directing
life and growth to become all one is capable of being. Gifted
people with entelechy are often attractive to others who feel
drawn to their openness and to their dreams and visions. Being
near someone with this trait gives others hope and determination
to achieve their own self-actualization." (Lovecky, D.V.,
Warts and Rainbows: Issues in the Psychotherapy of the Gifted.
Advanced Development, Vol. 2, Jan., 1990).
Because so much of a gifted person's process takes
place in the inner world of thought and feeling, time and reflection
is highly recommended. Making frequent visits to your inner world
opens a channel for new ideas and solutions to current problems
to flow without being impeded by "thinking."
Formal education is only one form of preparation
for a life of advanced development and excellence. If you do
not prosper in a conventional setting, you might consider some
alternatives. Having a mentor is one approach. Or you can invent
your own unique method of learning, design your own program of
study, getting all the literature, research materials, life experiences
and consultants that you need and going to work with them in
your own way. Listening with feeling and intuition to the inner
voice helps us to see we all carry a reservoir of wisdom and
knowing that can serve us wonderfully, if only we would pay attention.
Even if you are poor, uneducated, in ill health,
or culturally disadvantaged, you can still gain access to everything
that you could ever need. Be always on the lookout for resources
that are not apparent. If you're thinking "How can I...?" rather
than "I can't because...", the opportunities will appear.
Examine all known obstacles, and pay attention
to those that are less obvious. What would you need to do to
be fully prepared to make self-expression a priority? Many of
us have unwittingly lost much of our authenticity to oversocialization.
Doing what we should is programmed into us at an early age. If
you are only now beginning to recognize your giftedness, you
may find yourself trapped between two identities: the ordinary
self that habitually and unquestioningly yields to the expectations
of others, and the gifted self that must have time and freedom
to devote to your talents.
This presents an even greater challenge for gifted
women who are in the early stages of self-recognition and personal
development. Women in our culture are raised to be care-givers,
and as such, their identity and self worth are defined primarily
by that role. For most women, it is a major psychological achievement
to shift their primary identification and sense of worth to the
development of their talent. Not only is it threatening to the
woman, but often to friends and family who are used to being
put first.
Those of us who are contemplative from the heart
cannot tolerate the idea that life is accidental, purposeless,
directionless. Therefore, we are faced with two alternatives:
to erect and inhabit belief systems so as to posit meaning and
purpose, or to cultivate the capacity to feel and experience
life directly, and allow it to teach us its secrets, in accordance
with our level of development.
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